I came across this quote in the midst of a piece about mikvah, and it resonated with me in a very uncomfortable way.
"At one salon, a woman asked if my husband was home and when I responded no, she sighed in relief and pulled off her sheitl, wig. Women around the living room followed suit, pulling off sheitls, tichels, scarves, and hats, a collective shedding of our inhibitions. This was a safe space to open up and be in solidarity as women."
It highlights the ways in which I am both part of the Orthodox community and in which I am specifically not. I too would not remove my scarf if the host's husband were home- but without knowing in advance and packing a kippah or cap of some sort, I'm not going to take part in that collective intimacy of relaxing from the public face of hair covering- because I don't have a way of covering my head without my tichel on. The issue is only accentuated since I presume some of this was a discussion of Torah, about which I feel even more strongly about doing with a covered head.
I don't think I've ever actually been in one of these situations. But the thought of spoiling some sort of connection, or being excluded from it, because I am fulfilling two different Jewish values with my covering, is painful. Yes, it's a pair of choices that I made- but out of a sincere attempt to follow halakha diligently. Changing my mind would be a rejection of that. But it can be something of a lonely place.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
This is something I put together a while ago, quite different from anything I usually do.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
I haven't been feeling all that inspired lately (as seems to happen frequently in the summer, when it's too hot for much in the way of layers on the head, for me), but yesterday I had some actual motivation, wherever it came from, and here's the result. I have like twists lately, when I do anything creative.