My Ambivalence About How-To Style Videos

I just came across a bunch of how-to videos that Judith De Paris, an online tichel seller, has up, explaining how to put on the various styles of scarves that she sells.  She sells a lot of scarves that are cut specifically for head covering, so they have different shapes and whatnot, and I imagine that a quick how-to is quite useful.

 (I've never bought or made a scarf in one of these styles, as I generally try to be pretty thrifty, and these tend to be a little more money than I want to invest in one scarf.  I have thought about making one, in one of the styles.)

However, these how-to videos all basically say "this is the one right way to wear this thing".

I've got to disagree.  This is the simplest way to wear that scarf.  It's the most obvious.  But the only way?  No.

I want head covering to be a way that I express my creativity.  It's a way of bringing your own sense of beauty and artistry into this mitzvah on a daily basis (or however often you cover, or however often you find time and inspiration to be creative with it).

I want to ask those videos- can I mix this specialized item with another regular scarf?   What about with additional accessories?  Can I fold it up in some way if I feel comfortable showing some of my hair, and want to, that day?

 I want to have fun, not just be beautiful in a prescribed way.  This is my adult woman's version of dress-up.  Does this scarf play nicely with others?

Turban-Style Wraps

As I return to a realistic schedule, I'm working my way back to blogging.  Here are some of the wraps I've been playing with lately.  I'm experimenting with some scarves in more turban-like styles.  (If there's a technical definition of a turban, I haven't found it yet.)  Here's what I've been coming up with.  Please tell me what looks worth repeating, or if better instructions might make it worth trying yourself.  Pictures are always welcome too.

1. This one looked a little wimpy without the pin, but I quite like it with.  It's done with a scarf folded into a triangle, with the point facing the face, and the wide part at the back.  The ends wrap around, and the twist at the front is the wide/third point of hte triangle, twisted back and tucked.  I set it a little to the side, for better effect.

 I also played with some variations with the front corner folded under instead, but I'm not finding a good picture right now.

 2. Here's another start-from-the-back turban, done with a large rectangular scarf, twisted, with the twist brought around the back.

 I really like the back.  I'm less sure about the front.  It may take more experimentation.

 Here's the other side, where the twist doesn't show so much.

One of the interesting things about these wraps is how much less tying and knotting there is.  They felt pretty secure while I was playing with them.  I haven't done a full day wear yet.






3. This last one, I have worn all day a few times.  It's a bit closer to my usual- I found a how-to video somewhere, I'll have to dig it up again.  It starts in front, criss-crosses the ends in back, and brings them forward and ties a knot at the top of the head (usually to one side a bit), then tucks the ends back in, in back or wherever.  It's very fast and easy, and looks pretty good, I think.  It is a bit tricky to get tefillin on over this one, though, like with most styles that put bulk over the head rather than around the bun.

Hat Attack: Breaking Radio Silence To Participate

I said I'd continue to be away this week and probably next, but the Style Crone is putting together a first-of-the-month round up, asking for the display of "your hat, headwrap, headpiece, fascinator, hair flower, headband or other adornment for your head".  It sounded too good to miss out on.  So without further ado, here's today's scarves.

AWOL But Back Soon, and A Link

Work's been very busy, and I really haven't had time or energy for blogging lately.  This busy patch should be over in another week or week and a half.  So expect me back somewhere in the next couple of weeks.

But to tide you over until then, here's a link to an impressive video that will show you how to use a scarf to copy Princess Leah's hair-do, because it was just too good not to share.  As the demonstrator says, though, don't wear it if you need to listen carefully to something, all that fabric over the ears makes it hard to hear.

Maybe I'll give it a try sometime.  We'll see...

Being a Wedding Guest, and a Little on Cultural Sensitivity

 A few weeks ago, we went to my husband's cousin's wedding.  This is a pretty wedding-full summer for us: 5 in total, plus one we missed.  This was the second of the bunch.

 Pinning a necklace over the front of my covering is still my default for turning a covering into something wedding-worthy.

I'm always tempted to use something with a drop or a bangle in the front, evoking a tikka/bindi (Indian forehead decorations, which seem to evolve out of religious decorations/caste markers, but seem to be part of secular fashion as well). But as as pale an Ashkenazi as I am, it feels culturally inappropriate- something akin to orientalism.  So while I tried out a necklace with more oomph, and also a bunch of bits that dangled onto my forehead, I decided against.  I didn't take a picture- but even if I did, I might well be uncomfortable putting it online.  What do you think?

 This pin from my grandmother (she was getting rid of it- it's missing one or two of its rhinestones) has become pretty much my favorite pin for adding some sparkle to my scarves.

This scarf is quite long, so even with my tails both wrapped over my head and tied again in back, I had some tails left over.  The scarf is from the dollar store, and is somewhat stretchy.  It's also just a smidge see-through, and I suppose some folks might feel more comfortable with it wrapped around twice, but it didn't seem so transparent as to bother me.

How do you cover for attending a wedding, or other formal event?  Where are the cultural boundaries in what you will or won't wear? 

A Twisty Crown: A Shabbos or Mildly Dressy Style

 This is a variation on what often gets called the dutch crown, spun together with one of those classics of Shabbos hair-braiding, what was called a twist, I think.  It's also featured on wrapunzel, along with a how-to video.  I just made two of them, and intertwined them, dutch crown style.  (It's easier if you've secured the end of at least one of the sides with a hair elastic first.)

 I noticed that while this worked really well for me, I tried it out on my sister-in-law, and her head is a bit larger than mine- and the two twists weren't quite long enough to work out well.  So if you have a large head, you may want to use longer scarves than I did.  I imagine that you could use two separate scarves (both rectangles, I guess), wrapped around a separate scarf, which would give you a little bit more length to play with, and a different look.  I think I've given myself a new idea to play with.

 I did this with one square Israeli scarf- the very thin cotton kind, and one fairly narrow rectangular scarf.  So it made for pretty thin twists- especially as the twisting brings them to their narrowest.  That might make this a nice way to use this style without adding too much height or bulk, if that's something you don't find flattering for yourself.

Here's a general how-to:
1. Tie your square scarf with the back corner tucked in.  Keep your tails available.
2. Tie your rectangular scarf over it, keeping the tails of the first scarf available.  For this exact style, don't leave any of the first scarf showing in front.  (But that might be a nice variation, especially if you have some more space before where you want the twists.  Since I tend to show a little hair in front, I have less space.)
3. Arrange your tails with one from each scarf over each shoulder, so you have them in pairs.
4. Take the tails on one side.  Twist them each to the right, and wrap them around each other to the left (or vice versa.)  Secure at the bottom with a hair elastic.
5. Repeat with the other side.
6. Take both twists, and criss-cross them over your head, weaving them together, and tucking in the ends.
7. Adjust your placement, or any other fidgeting that you like to do.

I like the way that this can bring in just a touch of another color, helping to bring together an outfit.   It's also a way of making some decorative use of what might otherwise be an underscarf being used to keep a slippery top scarf in place...  It stayed in place very nicely for me, and the ends didn't tend to come loose, either.
And here's a close-up of my results:

Haircut, Style, and Covering

I read this article a few days ago, and somehow, although it's explicitly about short haircuts, and eccentric haircuts, it felt like something worth sharing here.  Here's the general claim of the article:
"Hair doesn’t make anyone beautiful but anyone can make their hair beautiful by rocking the ever-loving everything out of it. Have the length of hair you want at any given moment".
And that's something that I think is totally part of the style message that I want to send (even if most of the article is about cutting your hair off, and my hair is now the longest that it's ever been, and I'm pretty crazy about that).  To apply it to my topic at hand, I really believe in this covering thing- but do it in the way that rocks your world (not a phrase I'd usually use ever).  

The phrase that caught my attention is "command of her own presence".  Making your own decisions is taking command of your own presence, it's owning what you do with your body.  And it takes courage to do that.  Especially when I wore a kippah much of the time, it took courage to be myself, and to let other people react to it however they were going to react.  I still have those moments, although they're fewer.  

In other words, "Sometimes, in cutting off this type of hair, you really achieve a wider, louder broadcast of your identity as it is and as you want it to be."  The head has this power to project identity.  A headshot is all we put on drivers' licenses and passports because it's enough to see our heads in order to see who we are.  So doing something authentic to yourself with your head is a really powerful way of signalling who you really are.  

In other words- go forth and be yourself.  It seemed like a message worth sharing.  

Looking for Input: Covering and Grey Hair

Dear Readers,
I recently read a post about styling grey hair, with a lot of thinking about whether or not to dye graying hair.  I was wondering if any of you had any input about how covering your hair impacts how you feel about or handle your graying or gray hair.

Comments or guest posts are welcome.  Comments can go here.  To guest-post, write me at mkosowsky @ gmail dot com

Photos Need A Title

Here's a covering I put together a few weeks ago.  My plans were to put together something that felt comfortable, secure, and inspiring.  I ended up with this wrap, using 2 rectangular scarves, one ribbon, and a hair clip.

I wrapped the first scarf, and tied it in the back, with two equal ends.  I used a smaller scarf for the second one, so I tied it quite unevenly- with one long end, and one so-short-it-almost-didn't-exist end.  I took the 3 hanging tails (2 from the first scarf, and 1 from the second), and wrapped a ribbon around one of the ends, and braided it.  I secured the braid, and tied the excess ribbon into a bow.  The accessory was just a random throw-on, it felt right, and I wanted to bring the colors together with my mostly-black outfit, as well.

How's That for A Hat (or Veil)?

The article this links to isn't much- but take a look at the bride's covering(s).  How's that for a hat?  Or a veil?  Or a hat+veil?  Take a look particularly at the 5th and, most clearly, 7th photographs.