Saturday, October 6, 2012

Dealing With Awkward Comments

Every once in a while, I get an awkward comment about my scarf.  The latest (of a pretty small number) was  from a patient at work.  She said something like "it's too bad that you wear that- you're such a pretty girl".  I was a little surprised, but found something to say fairly quickly.  My response: "actually,  I find it very meaningful".

I'm not sure that that was the most useful pastoral response- in fact, keeping something focused on her would, I'm sure, have been better.  But socially, I think it was a pretty decent response, simple and to the point.

I've read, frequently, (and experienced some mild spin-off comments) about people who presume that one covers "because your husband makes you".  And for me (and most of the women I've talked to) that is very much not the case.  My husband is supportive of what I do- but would never have asked it of me, and would be equally supportive if I did just what I did before we got married, or anything in between that and this.  (The one thing I think he was once uncomfortable with was seeing me with a regular/men's sized kippah, before we were married, once.  And I don't know that that would bother him at home, any more.  I don't know.  It looks a little odd on me to myself, these days, honestly.  I'm not used to it on myself anymore.)

Do any of you cover (or modify your dress) because your husband/partner really wants it, when you don't or don't particularly care?

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