I came across this quote in the midst of a piece about mikvah, and it resonated with me in a very uncomfortable way.
"At one salon, a woman asked if my husband was home and when I responded no, she sighed in relief and pulled off her sheitl, wig. Women around the living room followed suit, pulling off sheitls, tichels, scarves, and hats, a collective shedding of our inhibitions. This was a safe space to open up and be in solidarity as women."
-http://www.myjewishlearning.com/blog/the-torch/2014/08/27/jewish-women-deserve-better/
It highlights the ways in which I am both part of the Orthodox community and in which I am specifically not. I too would not remove my scarf if the host's husband were home- but without knowing in advance and packing a kippah or cap of some sort, I'm not going to take part in that collective intimacy of relaxing from the public face of hair covering- because I don't have a way of covering my head without my tichel on. The issue is only accentuated since I presume some of this was a discussion of Torah, about which I feel even more strongly about doing with a covered head.
I don't think I've ever actually been in one of these situations. But the thought of spoiling some sort of connection, or being excluded from it, because I am fulfilling two different Jewish values with my covering, is painful. Yes, it's a pair of choices that I made- but out of a sincere attempt to follow halakha diligently. Changing my mind would be a rejection of that. But it can be something of a lonely place.
Can you explain to me what the difference in kippah covering and tichel covering is? I know in Judaism the tichel or sheitel is because of being married. What's the kippah for? (I think I might have a guess,but would like to hear it from you. thanks. (came here from wrapunzel)
ReplyDeleteWearing a kippah is generally considered to be a reminder of G-d's constant presence and oversight- and a sign of respect for G-d. It also marks Jewish belonging as a sign of peoplehood. You can take a look at posts tagged "devotional head-covering" if you're interested in some sources and other thoughts.
DeleteThat story strikes me as kind of surreal, Like a Jewish women's meeting in Bizarro World. I can't imagine any of the women I know doing that, certainly not a whole roomful of them at once. Not the besheiteled ones - too much trouble getting them to look that perfect! Or anyone who has been covering fulltime more than a couple of years. Nobody wants to see what's under there! My mother always said that women don't dress to impress men, they dress for other women.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't generally take my tichel off either, but who knows? Maybe someone wanted to "get comfortable" and their tichel was bothering them, and other people uncovered to make them feel more comfortable? I don't know.
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