Another Shabbos Re-Creation

Here's another replica of a recent shabbos-day head covering:

When You Hide Something...

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with some of my colleagues, and we were, for some reason, discussing hair.  I was mostly listening- I don't "do" my hair much, at this point (obviously).  Then one of my colleagues mentioned that I had beautiful hair (a surprise- I tend to think of it as very fine, and therefore mostly adept at escaping however I put it up)- and another woman responded: "How did you get to see her hair?".  (The answer?  We'd roomed together at a conference.)

I never thought of my hair as something secret or special, that other people would be interested in seeing.

I knew that my husband found it special that he was the only one who got to see my hair.  I'd seen women (well, college students) have this reaction to other women's hair.

But my hair?  What's the excitement in that?

Apparently, if you hide it, it does become special.  Even if it's your own- someone else will still find it exciting, even intimate.

I kept wanting to say- 'but I'm not hiding it from you!  You could see it any time, there's no problem in that.'  But it felt too odd.  Strangely exclusionary to the one man in our peer group.

I don't know what to make of that moment.  Brief though it was, it really surprised me.  I have now something special, off limits, that I never really thought about that way.  Making sure it was covered? Sure.  Feeling uncomfortable in boundary-stretching situations?  Sure.  Something other people were actively curious about?  Never thought in a million years.

Have any of you had a similar moment?  How did you feel about it?

A Week of Coverings: In Which I Like Layers

Friday- The day after Thanksgiving.  Off to Goodwill, and a small variation in style: I've pulled the ends of my scarf through my bun, instead of tucking them in, to show off the fringes at the ends.  (This scarf was a gift from a former classmate and roommate, and I'm thinking gratefully about her, this morning.)

I rather missed taking photos on Sunday.  But, here on Monday is a scarf we bought at Goodwill on Friday (same style as Friday):

Tuesday:

 Wednesday: (It went with a red and white blazer that I'd already shed by the time I got to the computer)

Thursday: Here's the full view:

 And here's a close-up, since the colors are pretty similar, and blend into each other at a distance.

And now a bonus: Shabbos (Saturday day)-

 And from the side:  Definitely a more dramatic look...  And a hat for once.

From the front:

Women's Head-covering in the Talmud, part 1

Brachot 24a

Here's the part of the sugya that is most frequently quoted:

אמר רב חסדא שוק באשה ערוה שנאמר (ישעיהו מז) גלי שוק עברי נהרות וכתיב (ישעיהו מז) תגל ערותך וגם תראה חרפתך אמר שמואל קול באשה ערוה שנא' (שיר השירים ב) כי קולך ערב ומראך נאוה אמר רב ששת שער באשה ערוה שנא' (שיר השירים ד) שערך כעדר העזים

Translation:Rav Hisda said: A woman's thigh is erva (nakedness), as it is said: (Isaiah 47:2) "Take the millstones, and grind meal; remove thy veil, strip off the train, uncover the leg, pass through the rivers.", and it is said (in the next verse) "Thy nakedness shall be uncovered, yea, thy shame shall be seen".  Shmuel said: A woman's voice is nakedness, as it is said (Song of Songs 2:14) "for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely".  Rav Sheshet said: A woman's hair is nakedness, as it is said (Song of Songs 4:) "thy hair is as a flock of goats, that trail down from mount Gilead".  

The context is a discussion of saying Shema while naked/in bed, which then broadens to a discussion of prayer while naked or in the presence of naked people, and from there to this- a question of what qualifies as a naked person that one might not be allowed to pray in their presence.

This context can be offered as a reason why the restrictions that are placed on women's dress and behavior based on this text (covering the hair, not singing in public) should be limited to when someone (male) is saying Shema.  (It's worth noticing that the implied viewpoint character, as it were, is male, and the object of his gaze is female- I don't think there's anything that goes the other way around.  But that's an artifact of our tradition, which I will not reject.  My question is, instead- is there any application of these concerns in the opposite direction?)

The other major Talmudic source regarding women's head covering makes a very different argument, not tied to liturgy.  We'll get to that one soon.  In the meantime, this sugya could send me pretty strongly in either of two directions.  Either hair is really a sexual provocation, and inappropriate to expose at all, analogized to the thigh, or it is something that is generally acceptable, but one should be particularly stringent about avoiding anything at all provocative, analogized to the voice.  The first leads me to be very stringent in covering all hair on the head at all times.  The second allows significant leniency.  It all feels very uncertain.  If this were the only text that I had, I'd be pretty uncertain of how to interpret it.  We'll see how it gets handled later, as we go.  

More Weekday Coverings

Thursday-

Square scarf with the ends brought up and twisted over each other, and a thin headband in front of them.

Monday- (two photos, because this is a new style for me to wear for real, with the twists- I liked them, but should do them with less stiff fabric in the future- they took a while to stop hitting my shoulder oddly)

 Tuesday- (a standard)

 Wednesday- (I'm enjoying the repeating layers look, lately)

 Thursday, Thanksgiving-

More Shabbos Styles

This is three scarves, layered, with the ends hanging down in the back, secured by a hair elastic.  

 And from the back:

This is from Friday night:

 And here's the back:  This is my first attempt to play with "scarf stuffing"- I have a rather bulky scarf underneath the one you see (you can see the very front of it, in the picture above).  I tried putting my bun, and thus the padding, higher up, which is how I often see that look, but I couldn't get it to work quite right, and shabbos was quickly approaching- so back to my usual location it was.  I like the look, although it puts a bunch of weight fairly low down on my head.

Where do you put your bun/ponytail/etc under a scarf?  Low down, mid-range, up high?

Men's Headgear in the Talmud, part 2

Here's another short story about another Talmudic rabbi who had a head-covering practice:

רב הונא בריה דרב יהושע לא מסגי ארבע אמות בגילוי הראש אמר שכינה למעלה מראשי

Kiddushin 31a

Translation: Rav Huna the son of Rav Yehoshua would not walk 4 cubits with an uncovered head.  He said: "The Shechinah [G-d's presence] is above my head."

This aggadah- story- is the second mention of a rabbi covering his head in the Talmud.  Notably, neither instance has any indication that the behavior is anything other than a personal pious practice- there is no comment that such behavior is encouraged.  On the other hand, we learn a great deal from the practices of the sages of our tradition.  However, the fact that there is no indication of requirement or even encouragement for the community to do the same is behind the line of later poskim who hold that wearing a kippah is minhag (custom) rather than law.

This story also introduces one of the primary reasons given for wearing a kippah- that the Shechinah is always above us.  Often it is phrased as a reminder that the Shechinah is always there, watching us.  In other words- a more conscious, intentional version of Rav Natan bar Yitzhak's obstacle to sin.  However, one might also wonder if it is a sort of modesty, not to be "seen uncovered", or even a sort of anxiety about God's omniscience.  

Weekday Coverings

Here's a summary of some recent daily coverings:
Tuesday 10/30- at home for the day:

Thursday 11/1- CPE day, post-hurricane (in preparation for a day in a building without power- I ended up wearing a hat over this anyway, but here was the original idea for the day):

Tuesday 11/6- a work covering, if not work clothes any more

Wednesday 11/7- ready for work (and apparently quite patriotic)-

And Thursday 11/8- CPE day again:

Friday 11/9- Playing with a pashmina, with my Friday-off clothes:

Monday 11/12-

Men's Headgear in the Talmud, part 1

One of the primary texts from which the practice of wearing a kippah.  The context is a discussion about fortune/fate, and whether or not it applies to Jews, or perhaps more accurately, whether it is unavoidable for Jews.  The stories used seem to suggest that fate impacts Jews, but that meritorious behavior (giving charity, etc- and in this case, covering the head) can alter or prevent or at least modify that fate.

ומדר"נ בר יצחק נמי אין מזל לישראל דאימיה דר"נ בר יצחק אמרי לה כלדאי בריך גנבא הוה לא שבקתיה גלויי רישיה אמרה ליה כסי רישיך כי היכי דתיהוו עלך אימתא דשמיא ובעי רחמי לא הוה ידע אמאי קאמרה ליה יומא חד יתיב קא גריס תותי דיקלא נפל גלימא מעילויה רישיה דלי עיניה חזא לדיקלא אלמיה יצריה סליק פסקיה לקיבורא בשיניה

Shabbat 156b

Translation: And from Rabbi Natan bar Yitzhak,we can also learn that there is no fortune for Israel: A Chalden said to the mother of Rabbi Natan bar Yitzhak "Your son will be a thief".  She did not permit him to reveal his head.  She said to him- "Cover your head, so that the fear of heaven will be upon you, and pray for mercy".  He did not know why she said this to him.  One day, he sat and was learning under a palm tree.  His cloak fell off his head.  He lifted his eyes and saw the palm tree.  His [evil] inclination became strong, and he cut off a bunch of dates with his teeth.  

This Talmudic tale tells us that wearing a covering of some sort gives one the fear of heaven, and even suggests that it has the power to prevent us from sinning, even or perhaps particularly in ways that are natural for us, individually.  In this manner it is a preventative measure, and a step toward being our best selves, rather than our worst ones.  

It also does not, at this point, presume that this is something that most people do, nor that there is any general requirement to do so.  On the other hand, it makes the practice look very attractive- a benefit without any detriment.  It's a way of helping ourselves to be good.  

It also does not say anything about what sort of head-covering is involved- Rabbi Natan bar Yitzhak  used his cloak/outerwear as his head-covering.  So any hat, scarf, turban, etc ought to work.  And as it is a story and not law, there are no suggestions of any sort about how much of the head needs to be covered for this preventative to work.  It doesn't even seem to have anything to do with personal awareness- our protagonist has no idea why he covers his head normally, or that it has fallen off in this instance.  

Therefore, it would seem that if the community at large were to adopt this practice (as of course, has happened, to a great extent), gender might not play a significant role.  There's nothing strongly gendered about this story, as far as I can tell...  

A Hat Link

I have played with scarves quite a bit- but hats are still pretty uncertain territory for me.  So I just loved this post, which both explores how hats interact with individual faces (artistically), and gives a few tips for checking out hat-wearing for yourself.