Hag Sameakh

Hag Kasher V'Sameakh, everyone!

I'll see you either Hol HaMoed or on the flip side.

Another Week, Another Batch of Pictures

Sunday: This is two rectangular scarves.  The bottom one has one end brought over the second, then the remaining three tails are braided, and wrapped around my bun.  One of them- the red scarf that you see less, is two-thirds red stripes, and one third light blue stripes, which gave me a three-colored braid.  It's an arrangement that can be really useful, but also a little awkward.  Nevertheless, these Israeli scarves are major staples of my scarf wardrobe because they stay on so well, are light-weight in the summer, don't slip, and are quite flexible.  (I wore the red scarf again on Monday, and the purple again on Thursday...)  

 Monday: Here's a scarf in a standard bun arrangement, but with a black lace headband arranged over it, farther back than my usual placement.  This was an attempt at using the same very basic ingredients to do something just a little bit different.  Sadly, the picture isn't very clear, but I hope you can get the idea.

Tuesday: Scarf and lace headband in front.  I'd worn a brown blazer with pale embroidery for work, but I didn't get around to taking a picture until I'd already gotten cozy at home, so please, use your imaginations for the full effect.

Wednesday: Two scarves, one of them folded up into a headband, just to make a layer.  There was actually a scarf-braid that went with this, but I forgot about it while I was taking pictures...  (Also, my newest earrings, a gift from my mother.)  

Thursday:  CPE and traveling- definitely something I put together with ease for travel as my first priority.  I'm still going with pulling a braid over my head as my style-of-choice for travel.  I was worried about the bobby-pins, what with going through the metal detector, so I secured it with a headband instead.  This worked out surprisingly well- the headband came off eventually, but the braid stayed in place.

and Friday: At my in-law's.  A striped rectangular scarf, with one end brought over, and the other one twisted, then wrapped behind it.

Useful Links

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner is running a giveaway for a headcovering by myheadcoverings.com.  To enter, check our her post, and follow the instructions there (basically, pick something you'd choose from the site if you won the giveaway, and put in in her comments).

In nosing around the myheadcoverings site, I found a lovely set of written instructions for some basic scarf styles.  Many of these styles are great stepping-off points for two-scarf variations as well, although those instructions aren't given on the site.

A Week's Round Up

I never got photos on Sunday.  It was a very quick covering in the morning for hanging around and then a trip to Goodwill, then something snazzier for a function for my husband's school.

Monday: Two long scarves, layered, and formed into a twisted bun, with one end pulled through.

Tuesday:  A rectangular scarf, then a small scarf made into a headband, then the ends of first scarf tucked over my head.  Fast but nice.

Wednesday: One square scarf with the ends wrapped over my head over a second rectangular scarf, it's ends wrapped around my bun.  

Thursday: Two scarves, one square, with the ends pulled up (one flat, one bunched), and a smaller rectangular one done as a headband, with the ends down.  I couldn't decide if I should let them flop on their own (see picture 1), or pull them to the side (picture 2).  There's a small headband on there too, but it isn't showing in the pictures.  But I basically grabbed my elements (scarves 1 and 2, and the headband), tied the first scarf, and did the rest on the train, today.

Friday: Two layered scarves- one rectangle and one square, with a third rolled up and added for some variation in color.  The ends hang down.

Vintage Hair Pieces

And for a moment of consideration about wigs, hair pieces, and other ways of changing the way your head looks, here's a remarkable photo.  (Found here, linked up here.)  When does it become apparent that the hair on your head isn't yours?  Are these dramatic enough to proclaim "This has to be a wig"?  Does it matter?


If you wear a wig, do you want people to know or not?

Inspiration

Once in a while, I start to feel like I'm doing the same things with my head, over and over again.  I feel that way about clothing rather more often (I'm less experimental with clothes, especially work clothes.)  I just get bored.  I slip into the same style, over and over again.

And I have No ideas for what to do to change things up.

Whether it's a simple bun style, or a multitude of different layers, I get "stuck".  I need some new inspiration.

Sometimes I find that inspiration in blog posts, especially at Wrapunzel or Rivka Malka, or some of the hijab videos I find on youtube.  (Do any of you know of good covering-related websites with inspiring photographs?)

Other times, I find that inspiration after a week of dull wraps, and a half an hour of play and experimentation in front of my mirror, creating a variety of ideas that don't work, and one or two that do.

Sometimes I find inspiration in leafing through old pictures of myself, and noticing an idea that I used to wear all the time, then forgot about when I got excited about something new.

 Sometimes I see someone wearing something interesting at shul or on the train, that I want to check out for myself.

How do you re-find your inspiration?

P.S. And for an unrelated other sort of inspiration, because I saw it and loved it: How are nail polish and tefillin connected, and how could that possibly be inspiring?

And Another Week Goes By... Pictures

Sunday: (Obviously, a work Sunday): Two scarves with one end of each trailing.  Rather a different combination of colors for me.

Monday: This is a very "normal/boring" wrap using one long scarf- but with a clip to jazz things up in the back.  (This is, however, one photo I can't take by myself with the webcam.  Many thanks to my husband, who took this photo.)

 Tuesday: Triangular scarf with a small headband and a small gauzy scarf twisted up to make a headband with some height and color.

 Wednesday: Square scarf with a headband.

 Thursday: This picture is a bit vague, sadly.  This is three scarves, one long, one triangle, and one kerchief-sized square.  The long one is on the bottom, then the triangle, then one end of the long one is twisted with the (shiny) kerchief, and wrapped tightly around my head, so that it isn't too puffy.  It was subtle (each was patterned), but I quite liked it.

And here's Friday, on our way to my husband's internship again.

Another Interview: Andrea of Wrapunzel

I'm pleased to introduce another interview, this time with a lady whose artistic coverings are an inspiration to me (more on that another time), and who blogs over at http://www.wrapunzel.wordpress.com.  (One of the more clever blog names that I've come across.)  I hope that you find her thoughts as interesting as I do.  

Please introduce yourself.   What do you do with your days, hobbies, etc? 

Hi!  I'm Andrea Grinberg.  I am Canadian (born in Toronto) and Israeli (made aliyah) but currently live in Chicago while my husband is completing his degree.  I started playing the cello when I was five and do so professionally, so I practice when I can!  I do childcare in the morning, and every afternoon I work as the chamber strings director at a youth orchestra for inner city kids (called the YOURS Project).  I also try keep up with my two sites (Harmony & Synergy and Wrapunzel), spend time learning, cooking, biking, and love be with my wonderful family and friends.  

How do you cover your head/hair?  (How much do you hold is necessary, if any, and what do you usually use to cover with?  Are there differences between what you think the minimum is and what you do?)   

In general, the communities that I associate myself with in terms of hair covering practice cover fully, with maybe a tefach showing at the front.  There (of course) is debate about how much a tefach is - some say a handsbreadth, and others say two fingers.  Personally, I cover all of my hair with scarves or hats.  I do own a sheitel (wig) because it was recommended that I get one before I got married just in case I encounter a social situation where it is necessary, but so far that has not happened and I never wear it.

I generally do not show any hair at the front, though sometimes I do so when wearing hats.  Personally, I'm not completely comfortable with this and am considering whether or not I should do it at all.  In my community, women cover their hair in public and when having guests to their house.  However, many do feel comfortable showing their hair to immediate family members and female friends.  I do not do this and only show my hair to my husband.  I took on this extra stringency because my hair always got a lot of attention from others, and I want its beauty to be reserved for my marriage.

How did you feel about covering your head, before you started covering? 

I was neither here nor there about it.  I intellectually understood it and thought that women who covered with scarves were beautiful.  I was never comfortable with the idea of wearing a wig on my head (esthetically and hashkafically) so knew that I would likely be wearing scarves most of the time.  I had experimented a bit with what I already had, but nothing elaborate.  I was looking forward to it mostly because I wanted to stop getting so much attention for my blonde hair.  I never anticipated that I would love it so much!

Honestly, before I got married, I did not know what the big deal was.  Many of my friends had so much trouble grappling with the idea, and it was painful for them to start covering. Those who rejected it did so with a passionate hate that I simply could not understand.  I also noticed that those who advocated for it did so with strength and conviction, but I never felt like they truly loved it.  Because I grew up in a non-religious home, many mitzvot that I took on were very difficult and took years of study and introspection for me to reconcile with.  Hair covering was not one of them.  It made a lot of sense to me, and I was very "ho-hum" about it before getting married.

What about now? 

First of all, I never expected how much my husband would love it!  He is the only person that sees me with my hair both covered and uncovered, and he makes me feel beautiful each way.  In private, my hair is something beautiful and intimate - just between us.  In public, I feel like a queen - regal, dignified, loving, and a representative of the Torah.

After getting married and realizing how much I love covering my hair, I found it even more shocking that the majority of women who cover do not embrace and enjoy it.  Especially living outside of Israel, I have encountered so many women that are self conscious about it and don't feel beautiful while doing so.  Other women simply don't know how.  This is part of what made me decide to start sharing my love for it and help others embrace it as well.

What was the adjustment period like?

The day after our marriage, I almost forgot and walked out the door without putting on my scarf!  The beginning was awkward;  I knew nothing about scarf materials, grip bands, volumizers... nada!  I got lots of "wow"s and compliments on my tichels in beginning, but this is probably more because of the smile on my face instead of what I wore on my head.  The scarves kept slipping and I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to adjust.  There was a big transition period leading towards my loving it, and it's funny how it started;  I started having nightmares about being outside without my hair covered and not being able to find a scarf anywhere.  These nightmares were what made me realize that I was no longer "ho-hum" about covering my hair.  Now, I cared about it.  As soon as I realized this, the nightmares stopped.

Has covering changed how you interact with the world (your husband, friends, family, strangers, God)? 

Covering my hair helps me be with my husband always, regardless of whether or not he is physically beside me.  My head is a beacon of our commitment and love for reach other, and I feel like he is hugging my head everywhere I go.

My non observant friends were mostly distressed about the idea of my covering my hair before I started doing so.  For most of them, it was a relief to see how much I was still the same person afterward.  (As I said before, my hair was always a big part of my identity.)  I love showing them how to do it when they ask!

My family has been very supportive and thank Gd, I think they are very proud of the things I have been doing with hair covering.

In terms of strangers, I feel so much more public.  I definitely stand out in the Jewish community of Chicago, because most people do not cover, do so partially, or do so with wigs.  I feel that I can be a kiddush Hashem for scarf wearers, which is wonderful.  It is definitely a conversation starter!  I have talked many people on the bus and street just because of what I'm wearing on my head!

Would you share an inspiration that you get from covering your head?

I feel so regal and womanly when I wrap my scarves beautifully.  This is something that I never quite understood before and have never felt until I started covering my hair. 

What about a frustration or difficulty?

It really saddens me how few women enjoy covering their hair. Sometimes I just want to leap out of my chair at a stranger's Shabbat table and do a beautiful wrap on every woman's head.  Actually, the real issue is how few women understand and embrace their unique, deep and internal beauty and strength.  I wish I could just give them a hug and help them see what the infinite sees.  I really want to help every woman love and be loved, and shine from the inside out.

You have a lovely blog with lots of covering styles and how-tos.  How did that blog come to be? 

Putting my hair covering ideas online is a perfect example of how an incident can seem horrible and then turn into something beautiful. Since getting married, I had friends asking me to show them how to do wraps and some people did suggest that I do how-to videos. But I "didn't have time" and there were "more important things" for me to do.  Few people know this, but I had a health scare in Jan 2012.  After realizing something was wrong and crying from fear, I instantly realized that I simply could not leave this life without contributing everything that I have learned and been given.  This applied to other areas of my life as well, but surprisingly I realized that the thing that I wanted to share most was how to cover one's hair beautifully.  I made a commitment during that moment to start writing, teaching, and sharing.  Thank Gd, I am healthy, and without that volatile time, I would have never gotten the coakh (strength) to share my story and run these sites.

What tips or tricks would you like to share? 

Do NOT be shy!  Ask questions and give compliments!  Most women that cover would be happy to share where they find their coverings and how to do it!

There are many practical tips and tricks on my blog, so I will just say this;  Figure out what works for you and do not make assumptions about yourself.  Find the colours that make you shine, but don't be afraid to try something new and surprise yourself!  Figure out the wraps and styles that suit your face shape best, but also make sure that you regularly experiment with something different.  And always wear pretty earrings!

How do feminism (whatever that means for you) and Orthodoxy interact in your covering practice?

This is going to be a long answer.  Thank you Maya for your wonderful questions that make me think so deeply!

I had always known that I was put on this world with all my strengths and weaknesses in order to evolve as a human being and make the world a better place.  When growing up, I applied this logic in order to decide what kind of career and general life I wanted.  When I just turned twenty, I was living the academic and professional life that I thought maximized all my gifts in the fullest possible way.

But there were two big gifts that I had overlooked.  The first was the fact that I was Jewish.  The second was that I was female.

It's funny in retrospect.   I had factored in so many of my personal traits, my intellect, my musical abilities, my absolute pitch and odd hearing loss, my philosophical zeal, and need to be isolated with bursts of social inspiration, etc.  But I had neglected to factor in my femininity and had already rejected Judaism.  You can read a bit about my journey with Judaism here, but femininity and feminism is a different story;  At the time, I almost felt that I was too "liberated" of a female to actually consider this part of myself when trying to become who I wanted to be.

To make a long story short, I began to consider what being a female meant to me, and how I was going to include this in the life I wanted to build.  I wanted my decisions to be about who I actually was, and not just be in reaction to men and what they do.  I needed consider my desire and ability to bear children (bz"H), my sensual appeal, my binah (woman's intuition), and my need to nurture and create in an expansive (instead of linear) way.  What I started learning about Judaism and what it teaches about femininity, I immediately connected.  I can say now that I do understand what it means to be a female (though I'm still learning!), and am fulfilling my potential in a much greater way.

Of course, hair covering is a huge part of this.  I love covering my hair - it's my favourite mitzvah!  I love how I feel like I am being crowned every time I wrap my scarves and that it is something so noticeable where I live.  I feel like I can be a kiddush Hashem in a much greater way, because I am so noticeably a married, Jewish woman.

Is there anything else you’d like to share, that I haven’t thought of asking?

Maya, I don't know you in person, but I want to say that I really appreciate you, your questions, and your blog.  I am so glad that we are able to build some bridges between different sects of Judaism and that hair covering (of all things!) has helped us do this.  Thank you for interviewing me and your awesome questions.  The world needs more of this!  You are an inspiration.

Now that we’ve met you, would you share a couple of your favorite posts from your blog, that How To Cover readers might find beneficial?

I recommend that readers check out http://wrapunzel.wordpress.com and explore the site!  There are tons of tutorials, new ladies featured every week, plus a daily "what I'm wearing on my head" post.  Here are some of my favourites:

Mary

How to do a turban

One of my favourite wraps to date

How I define myself as a Jew

My conversion story: 

 What do others say? 

My Head Last Week

Apparently, I only managed photographs for a couple of days, this last week- it was a pretty complex one, with a committee meeting, an evening conference, and the regular bunch of CPE assignments for me, and an interview for my husband.  So here's what I've got.  I'm trying to play with camera (or well, web-cam) angles.  Let me know if anything that's out of the ordinary looks like it's worth repeating.

Here's Monday, what I wore for my meeting with the committee: 

And now we skip to Thursday, where I was feeling very interested in comfort for CPE.  But I haven't done a braid in a long time, and this one was a nice change of pace.

 (Here the different angle shows you a quilt I made over the years from mid-high school through early rabbinical school, and a quick peek of my hula hoops, and also new earrings from my mother.)

 And here's Friday.  I left the tails unfolded when I wrapped them over my head, giving a different sort of silhouette.  I'm still not sure how I feel about fringes on my square scarves, but it's an element to play with.  How do you make use of or hide fringe?